Keeping Abreast of German Politics
It’s been a very slow week in politics, so I’d like to take this opportunity to backtrack a little. German politicians are in the middle of an election. Since Angela Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union is the clear front-runner, some of her CDU candidates have felt comfortable taking some risks in the campaign. On August 11th, CDU candidate Vera Lengsfeld took advantage of the opportunity to launch a new brand of sexy-politics.I want everyone to take a moment and just look at those massive boobs. Those are old Fraulein titties and they are great. I love them because all summer I have had to look at Putin’s saggy old man chest, I’ve looked at half naked old Czech men campaign on a beach, at Nicolas Sarkozi sucking in his paunch and all the while I’ve had to listen to the media call it political sex appeal. I’ve looked at Silvio Berlusconi sweat all over underage girls and watch MacLean’s dub him THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD. Everywhere I look there are old men parading about, proudly wagging their shrivelled manhood in all of our faces, demanding that everyone be aware of their staggering potency – even as they sag and bald and bloat.
Now look at Angela Merkel!
She’s the most powerful woman in the world and those are her massive boobs. Vera Lengsfeld isn’t doing so badly either. The slogan underneath the women says “We have more to offer” (Get it? ’Cause they’ve got such big boobs!) and we are all clearly meant to see it and have a laugh. Do you think Putin wants you to laugh at his boobs? No, his boobs represent the hard power of the Russian state! They represent nuclear weapons, disappearing journalists and pipelines to transfer oil through any goddamn country he wants – and you are supposed to find that sexy!
Lensfeld admits that she created the posters without the permission of Angela Merkel, who would “have never allowed it.” I’m glad she did, because Merkel’s are the best political breasts I’ve seen all year…. and I’ve seen a lot.
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About the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.
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