Never Under Yulia’s Watch…
Yesterday a bunch of Ukrainian MPs properly lost their shit when discussing Russian ships in Ukrainian waters. Please watch the following video.
To fully appreciate this compelling collage of human shame, I’d like to pull out a few particularly touching elements. Not unlike the 1942 film Casablanca, this incident, I feel, will be best remembered as a collection of great moments, rather than as one cohesive story.
The Umbrellas: Not two seconds after the first egg is thrown, POOF! An umbrella is found, and the speaker defiantly continues the meeting under the cover of first one, then two, then three identical black umbrellas. I get the impression that these handy and uniform egg shields are Official Ukrainian Parliament Umbrellas. Presumably they’re taped under the speakers desk just in case some nasty shit goes down and he needs to protect his suit.
Hair Pulling: Now, I have two sisters, so I feel it is my duty to tell you all that is a legit move if your opponent has long luscious curls and you get her from behind. On a dude however, this is useless. I’ve tried. You’ll never get a good enough grip to really pull, and people make the mistake of trying to cover too much surface area. Less is always more in hair pulling. But what was I saying, oh right. This guy’s a little bitch.
Punk: Who is this fucking kid?
This Guy Taking a Breather: In the fray, an older gentleman decides to rest on a rail and bring down the ol’ heart rate while the young bucks try to get in a few swings. Smoke bombs, fist fights, parliamentary debate: He is getting too old for this shit!