I Want This Guy’s Job
It’s good to be Joe Biden. In 2008, when Barack Obama was hustling for the presidency, his running mate had two jobs: Look old and look white. Done and done. Now that he’s in office, the only thing he really seems to do is bleach his teeth and attend international sporting events. You might remember him blending in with the iceburg motif during the opening ceremonies at the Vancouver Olympics, and now he’s jetted off to South Africa for the World Cup while Barack Obama gets to deal with the worst man-made environmental disaster in the history of the world. Here’s a little snippet from his press conference in SA:
“I am honored to be (here) representing the United States,” Biden told the Associated Press.
He added: “The president is really angry. God love him, as my mother would say. He’s dealing with [the] oil spill, and I’m here with you, and he had planned on coming.”
“God love ‘im, he’s up there, watching the environment bleed from it’s insides when he’d been planning on drinking and watching the game in a continent that worships him. Oh well, you can pass me his beer.”
As much as I want to cry bitch-move on Biden, I’m kind of glad he didn’t pull the whole “There is no where the president would rather be then helping the American people in their time of need” thing because that would be some straight bullshit. The president wants to be Joe Biden right now. I want to be Joe Biden right now. Every time I turn on the American news, I can see Barack Obama screaming with his eyes as he tries to be angry about things which are really beyond his control, but not be an “angry black man” because that’s a turn off. Every time I turn on an opening ceremony for something awesome, I see Joe Biden’s teeth glowing in the dark from the VIP section behind Shakira’s ass. I used to think that being the leader of the world’s only super power was probably the sweetest job in the world. Now I know better. Vice-president is the way to go.
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About the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.