The Best of 2010: Tony Abbott
There were a few great elections this year. I don’t want want to pick favourites, because every election is like a crass, embarassing, morally bankrupt child to me, but if I’ll let you in on my top three. The United Kingdom, Australia, and…. Hungary. You thought I was going to mention the American midterms didn’t you? No, those were awful…. and boring. Attila Mesterhazy’s facial hair is more interesting then anything that happened in the States this year. Fact.
Australia makes the top three for one reason only: Tony Abbott. Tony Abbott is the name of an early Homo Erectus which was found in the Australian outback, preserved for millions of years under countless layers of red sand and the ash of a now-extinct volcano. When scientists found this creature, they took him to thier lab, where he was lovingly called Tony as they thought of how to crack his head open to study his primative brain. Unfortunately, he was revived when a clumsy scientist accidentally dropped a vial of hydrocloride and a small cup of water on his dry and lifeless remains. With thier skull-cracking plan array, they simply allowed Tony to walk into the wider world, where he found solace in the prehistoric comforts of the Catholic church and parliamentary government. In 2010 he was the leader of the Liberal party of Australia (not actually liberal) and very nearly won the popular vote in a federal election despite being a walking political disastor carefully dressed in a mankini with a matching bathing cap. Revisit some of our favourite moments here and here.