The Best of 2011: The Arab Fucking Spring

Posted by Mika on Dec 31, 2011 in Best of 2011, Egyptian Politics, Middle East Politics, Syrian Politics | 1 comment

Oh hello, devoted readers, reluctant friends, confused Google compatriots. It is that time of year again: the time when I take a quick moment to revisit everything that I think highlighted our year together (ohh… and sorry for, ya know, not being here for a lot of it.  I was busy? Yes? No…  Yes! Super busy and important!)

2011 was a year of big news stories. I’d go through them in a list right now, but I always end up forgetting something massive.  Remember that huge fucking Tsunami that wiped out Japan and nearly started a nuclear meltdown?  Totally forgot that happened this year.  Remember when a man from Norway went to an idyllic summer camp and murdered 69 children to prove how much he hated immigrants?  I think many people forgot that happened this year. So much happened that it makes me think 2012 might just bring the apocalypse, because that would be an appropriate way to follow 2011. But there were some moments of 2011 that were genuinely worthy of a giggle, or a fist pump, or they made you spit coffee at your monitor in righteous indignation – which I know you enjoy just as much.

I pick the best of 2011 based on some pretty lax criteria, but this first post is an easy one.  The Arab Spring was, without a doubt, the biggest news story of the year.  Some people have argued that the protests that set the Arab world on fire have already petered out; that change, if it comes at all, will be short lived and ineffective. But I think those people are 1) impatient and 2) bitter.

They are impatient because, like me, they spend way too much time on the internet, or watching cable news, where all the stories are !!!!!BREAKING!!!!! and then they !!!!GO VIRAL!!! and everyone obsesses over it for a while before moving on. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting caught up in this cycle, and I find it extremely entertaining. But it’s also important to remember that actual news, the kind that shapes a region and affects the lives of millions of people, takes time. You can’t expect the Arab Spring to fit into the same news trajectory as Anthony Weiner’s penis.

What’s especially important about the Arab Spring is that it contradicted everything we’ve been told about the Arab world in the last decade. Whether or not we actually believed what we were told during the aftermath of 9-11, we were all subjected to the argument that Arabs needed to be taught about freedom. The Arab world is despotic because it was ingrained in their ancient society, which is beset by tribalism and religious extremism. Whether or not you believed it, this idea was always on the table and a lot of people brought it up, smugly, and called themselves realists. These are the people who I call bitter.  This spring we learned that Arabs aren’t all living in the stone age. Some Arabs are reasonable people with cell phones and good ideas. Some cute Arab 20-somethings, who were invited onto the Daily Show, reminded everyone that their non-violent uprising had nothing to do with the United States, and they’d rather you stop analysing it through the lens of your already-outdated 400-level IR seminar.

Ok, so… I swear the rest of the list is way shorter. My point was… the Arab Spring was a big fucking deal and it will be for a long time. If you are so inclined, go ahead and revist my guide to a Feel Good Revolution.
And if you really want to make yourself either giggle or spit, read about the article that Vogue published in the middle of the Arab spring about Al-Assad’s wife. It was called “A Rose in the Dessert”…. yeah….

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