Best of 2011: Governor Arnold’s Love-Child with the Housekeeper
I’ve tried to blog as little as possible about American politics this year. Not because I don’t enjoy them…I do, A LOT; but because that shit gets played to death. I’m also finding more and more that, with even the most ludicrous stories, Americans always find a way to take it way too seriously. They can be funsuckers, those guys.
One event that was pure fun was the unveiling of Arnold Swarzenegger’s love child. Ten years ago, Arnold, a loveable lug known for his roles in Pumping Iron and that one movie where Danny Devito knocks him up, bumped parts with a saucy little number named Mildred Patricia Baena. Patty, as she was affectionately known by Arnold’s wife, was working as a housekeeper in the Schwarzenegger family home at the time, and continued to do so until her son was ten, nervously giggling when Maria Shriver said, “Wow… how funny is it that your son looks just like my husband, the well known philandering, groping, steroid monkey I chose to marry despite knowing he was a juiced-up molestation machine? So funny right?”
This is all Polonoscopy relevant because, they tell me, Mr. Schwarzenegger was democratically elected to lead a rather populous and economically important American state… but that can’t be right…..
Revisit it here.