What the Fuck is Wrong with Ann Romney?
Americans, in an election year, (and, you know, not in an election year) are pretty bat-shit fucking insane. Bat-shit to a level of bat-shittery, where I don’t really bother anymore because seriously, what can I write that is as farcically stupid as the truth? Sometimes, when I’m reading about American politics – in actual, serious, respected publications – I need to just stop and lay down. Just to let it all wash over me. Then, when I wake up, I look at my hands to see if they’ve been replaced with deadly razor flippers. Then I look out the window to see if we suddenly have two suns setting across the sand dunes, because honestly, becoming a deadly flipper-monster on the planet Tatooine makes about...
Read MoreVladimir Putin stole the election and I’m glad!
Yeah, you heard me, GLAD! Please, allow me to explain… A while back (and by that, I mean soooo long ago. This story has been sitting in drafts for a while..yeeeeah) Vladimir Putin almost certainly rigged the Russian presidential election so his floppy man-tits could have an extra eight years of blueberry-hill-singing, hymen-popping, journalist-killing good times in office. Election fraud is bad, certainly, but in this particular case I’m a little bit relieved. I’m not happy that a population of 14s million now live under a government they did not vote for, but I sure am fucking glad they didn’t vote for this: I’m glad he HAD to steal the election. You know what is almost offensive than Vladimir...
Read MoreAnd now, for an administrative note…
So a few people have asked me recently if I’ve stopped blogging. My answer to this is always “No way, bitch! I blog all the time, I’m blogging right now.” *squint* “There. I just wrote a penis joke in my mind.” Then I proceed to go home and not blog. I don’t want to stop writing here. In my own sick way, I’m kind of proud of Polonoscopy. It’s never got me a job (which was why I started) nor has it ever been read by more than a handful of (smart, savvy, utterly sexy) people but I’ve always had a giggle here, and I hope you’ve had giggles too. Recently, however, I’ve become a little worried about what I can and cannot write, and frankly, the insecurity is cramping...
Read MoreFilm Review: The Iron Lady
Here’s my first suggestion to anyone who wants to make a political biopic: it’s best to not do it if you’re afraid of politics. If your political figure is the first female Prime Minister in Britain’s history, you might not want to be afraid of gender issues either. My greatest piece of advice, however, would be this: if you want to make a film that avoids controversy, perhaps it shouldn’t be about Margaret Thatcher. Stripped of politics, lacking in history, barely touching on gender or character growth, The Iron Lady is really about an old woman in a nice apartment who suffers from dementia. This was a controversial decision in itself, yes, but the overwhelming message of the film – it’s...
Read MoreBest of 2011: Hugo Chavez is Totally Alive, You Guys
Even though I tried, my prose couldn’t really add to the magnificence of the Hugo Chavez workout video… so I won’t try again. Watch it again through this post.
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.