Nelson Mandela’s Grandchildren are American Famewhores
In politics, and in life in general, there are very few things everyone can agree on. For example, I hear it told that some people question the existence of global warming, or evolution. Also, some people out there are still serving vanilla cakes on special occasions. They know chocolate exists, but they pick vanilla, and then they put it in their mouths. It’s ludicrous, and I don’t know why we let them vote but nevertheless… nevertheless, there one thing, one person in the world that everyone everyone loves: Nelson Mandela. If you ignore Thatcher and Regan (who are still pretty sure he’s a terrorist) and a handful of white colonials who benefited from apartheid while they hunted endangered rhino with the chaps...
Read MoreBest of 2010: Chantel Biya (and Runner Ups)
You know what I got sick of in 2010? People calling political wives “style icons”. Carla Bruni, Michelle Obama, Samantha Cameron (?!?!?!!), they were all fawned over by their respective national presses for thier “effortless chic”. It’s effortless because they have all hired someone to dress them! These three women obviously have many style advisors and personal shoppers on their payroll, and that’s fine, but if I want to call someone a “style icon” I want them to at least dress themselves. You know who looks like she dresses herself? The First Lady of Cameroon, her beautiousness, Mme. Chantel Biya. Look at her. Say what you want, but that shit didn’t come off the rack at J-Crew,...
Read MoreShe’s Beauty and She’s Grace
She is Miss…Cameroon! See how Michelle Obama stares into the sun like that, nearly crying at the sight of such radiance. But Ms Biya simply smiles back at her, the arch of her eyebrows whisper… it’s alright my child This photo comes from another of the eternally popular First Ladies-enjoy-the-countryside-while-the men-talk -politics/somebody-think-of-the-PRODUCE!! luncheons. this one was held in upstate New York, where the veggies were so fresh and organic the wives picked potato bugs out of their teeth, and the countryside so beautiful, that only the red halo of one Ms. Chantel Biya could cast a shadow on its loveliness. They say that the sheep cried out at the sight of her, and tore off their own coats in shame at...
Read MoreWho Was That Crimson Minx?
On July 14th, the French celebrate Bastille Day. This national holiday is held every year to commemorate the time when, in 1789, a howling mob demonstrated their LIBERTÉ, ÉQUALITÉ and FRATERNITÉ by STORMING THE BASTILLE and setting free a small handful of pervs. While this affair did little to move France towards being a free Republic (Napoleon was a kind of a step backwards) it forever cemented France’s love of having convicted sexual criminals walk freely amongst innocent citizens. Congratulations on your freedom, Mr. Polanski. This year, the Sarkozys invited the presidents and first ladies of France’s former African colonies to take part in the festivities. Obviously, there is no better way to celebrate the spirit of...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.