Best of 2011: Hugo Chavez is Totally Alive, You Guys

Posted by on Jan 1, 2012 in Best of 2011, Venezuelan Politics | 0 comments

Even though I tried, my prose couldn’t really add to the magnificence of the Hugo Chavez workout video… so I won’t try again. Watch it again through this post.

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Best of 2011: Samantha Cameron… FASHION ICON

Posted by on Jan 1, 2012 in Best of 2011, U.K Politics | 2 comments

I don’t like to snark on political wives/husbands. Of course I do it, but I don’t like it largely because I don’t think being married to someone important is a job. I’m clearly in the minority though, because bitches keep throwing away perfectly good jobs as lawyers and fancy pen makers in order to wear clothes, sniff flowers, and pretend that the white bread hack they’re married to is some kind of statesmen. This is why, ultimately, I do snark. They’re playing. If you want to pretend like being the Prime Minister’s top vagina means you have some kind of role to play as an ambassador for your country, then it’s gamefuckingon. Samantha Cameron, by most accounts a smart, classy professional...

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Best of 2011: Governor Arnold’s Love-Child with the Housekeeper

Posted by on Jan 1, 2012 in American politics, Best of 2011, State Politics | 0 comments

I’ve tried to blog as little as possible about American politics this year. Not because I don’t enjoy them…I do, A LOT; but because that shit gets played to death. I’m also finding more and more that, with even the most ludicrous stories, Americans always find a way to take it way too seriously.  They can be funsuckers, those guys. One event that was pure fun was the unveiling of Arnold Swarzenegger’s love child. Ten years ago, Arnold, a loveable lug known for his roles in Pumping Iron and that one movie where Danny Devito knocks him up, bumped parts with a saucy little number named Mildred Patricia Baena. Patty, as she was affectionately known by Arnold’s wife, was working as a housekeeper in the...

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The Best of 2011: The Arab Fucking Spring

Posted by on Dec 31, 2011 in Best of 2011, Egyptian Politics, Middle East Politics, Syrian Politics | 1 comment

Oh hello, devoted readers, reluctant friends, confused Google compatriots. It is that time of year again: the time when I take a quick moment to revisit everything that I think highlighted our year together (ohh… and sorry for, ya know, not being here for a lot of it.  I was busy? Yes? No…  Yes! Super busy and important!) 2011 was a year of big news stories. I’d go through them in a list right now, but I always end up forgetting something massive.  Remember that huge fucking Tsunami that wiped out Japan and nearly started a nuclear meltdown?  Totally forgot that happened this year.  Remember when a man from Norway went to an idyllic summer camp and murdered 69 children to prove how much he hated...

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