She’s Beauty and She’s Grace
She is Miss…Cameroon! See how Michelle Obama stares into the sun like that, nearly crying at the sight of such radiance. But Ms Biya simply smiles back at her, the arch of her eyebrows whisper… it’s alright my child This photo comes from another of the eternally popular First Ladies-enjoy-the-countryside-while-the men-talk -politics/somebody-think-of-the-PRODUCE!! luncheons. this one was held in upstate New York, where the veggies were so fresh and organic the wives picked potato bugs out of their teeth, and the countryside so beautiful, that only the red halo of one Ms. Chantel Biya could cast a shadow on its loveliness. They say that the sheep cried out at the sight of her, and tore off their own coats in shame at...
Read MoreRed Zone Reflections – Part 2
I feel kind of like a dumbass writing about the G8, now that I’m back in Toronto and every other person I run into wants to show me their home video of some hippie getting hit in the face with a baton, but hey… when I learned I could only cover one conference I picked the G8 for a reason. Up in Muskoka, shit was happening too! There were police… I saw some helicopters…it’s strawberry season… why are you asking me all these questions? I imagine my dilemma is similar to those of police officers who returned from Huntsville to their home stations in Kenora and Moosonee and had to swap stories with the guys who were sent to Toronto. “Oh, yeah, the G8 was great, I rode around the woods on an ATV and...
Read MoreFear and Loathing in Toronto
By David Robson Today I witnessed absurdity firsthand. I was at Bay and King when anarchists set two police cars alight, I was at Yonge Street for the aftermath of the anarchist’s so-called “class war,” and I was in Queen’s park when the police finally corralled protesters, launched their tear gas, and ineffectually tried to restore order to the city. What happened today was not oppression; there was no police brutality, no great affront to human rights. What happened today was not a social movement; there was no meaningful free speech, no meaningful attempt to persuade, enlighten, or inform. What happened today was not necessary; it was absurd. I went out to Queen’s Park, where several thousand protesters had gathered, and...
Read MoreRed Zone Reflections
Since the G20/G8 preparations have started to get underway in Toronto and Huntsville, I’ve heard a lot of fat guys with neck beards, presumably from some kind of “independent” or “alternative” press, tell me that my rights will properly shat-upon as soon as the the Summits have arrived. Well, here I am, in my family cottage which is helpfully located right in the middle of the G8 Red Zone on Peninsula Lake. At the other end of this lake is Deerhurst, where Stephan Harper will officially open the 37th annual G8 conference in about twenty minutes. While I won’t say I haven’t been mildly inconvenienced here and there, the whole ordeal has been tame and well… rather cute. It’s been a...
Read MoreG20/G8 Coverage
The G20/G8 has been taking over the news in my neck of the woods, and I’m semi-happy to say that soon I’ll be in the thick of it all. I will go to the G20 protests, I will do my bit to cover the amusing bits on this blog, and I will leave before that shit gets Chinese. I am happier to say that I’ll also be in the thick of the G8. My family’s cottage in Muskoka is within the Deerhurst security area and I’ve already shown my ID to a Mountie, so… we’re in, kids. The G8, I think, will be the fun summit, because it is the shallow summit. The leaders will be there for one day. They will be playing golf. I imagine this means that Obama is going to be in a foursome with Merkel, Cameron and whoever...
Read MoreWhen You’re Doing the G20
G20 Spouses Yesterday in Pittsburgh while the G20 leaders were doing their thing… you know, talking about the economy, making plans, leading the world, snapping towels at each other in the change room, Michelle Obama kept the G20 “spouses” entertained. How did she do it? Why, with fresh produce, of course! Michelle took the girls (and one dude) to a working farm owned by Teresa Heinz Kerry. There they listened to some jazz, ate some greens and waxed on and on about important it is for children of the world to eat healthy while comparing their classy lady suits and napkin folding techniques. Then I imagine that some of them might remember that they themselves used to be lawyers and CEOs and budding politicians, maybe...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.