Silvio Berlusconi Can’t Keep His Face Hole Shut….
… because he’s a human shit-stain. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Last week news outlets were reporting that Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi had been caught on tape saying something “unprintable” about German Councillor Angela Merkel. This came as a bit of a surprise to me because, well, is there anything we could learn about Silvio Berlusconi at this point that would be unprintable? His reputation in the media before this incident was basically – and I’m paraphrasing- fascist rapist mobster tyrant corrupt money-laundering John asshole, using state money to wet his herpes stick in 14 year old indentured prostitutes while controlling the media. I think the damage is out there. The...
Read MoreSilvio Burlisconi Opens His Mouth Again
I…. I can’t. I can’t even…. Here’s the quote, courtesy of the Daily Mail. The Italian premier, 74, who is facing a charge of paying a 17-year-old for sex, cracked the lewd joke while being interviewed – before asking the crew not to report it. The billionaire tycoon was asked to recall the best manager to lead AC Milan, the Italian football club he is president of. He said: ‘Look I am getting old. This morning I was chasing my secretary to do her on the table and she said: “Prime Minister we only did it two hours ago.” So you see my memory is going.’ Berlusconi is then heard saying: ‘If you lot broadcast that then you are all a bunch of *****.’ Footage of his latest gaffe was screened on...
Read MoreSilvio’s Valentine
How did thousands of Italian women pleasure themselves this Valentine’s day? They went out to protest Silvio Burlisconi making a mockery of women! They said no more orgies! They railed aginst the underage prostitues! They decried the Bunga Bunga! As they should, right? Of course. I think there are very few people who would say that what these women ask is unreasonable, but one of those people will always be Silvio Burlisconi. While publicly the Italian Prime Minister has said that the protests are “disgusting” I would bet anyone 100 sweaty Euros that privately he’s used more colourful langauge. I bet he’s been saying that these women are a bunch of hairy lesbians, all in need of a good dicking, because...
Read More“Whoever Wrote the Burn Book Probably Didn’t Think Anyone Would Ever See It”
This week, Julian Assange, the founder of Wikileaks and (depending on who you ask) a noted whistle-blower/moralist/traitor/firebrand/saver of lives/damner of souls/albino dweeb has proved himself to be something else altogether: a master of entertainment. Like a modern day Euripides, Julian Assange has followed up his three part tragedy with a comedy, following up his damning evidence of cruelty and corruption in the Middle East with a warm hearted comedy about a bunch of American diplomats who get together for mojitos and bitch about their wacky friends and co-workers! “The Embassy Cables” is the funniest classified information leak of the season! So Wikileaks pulled a Regina George and taped the U.S state department’s...
Read MoreBig Berlusconi’s Big Whoreless Birthday
When Silvio Berlusconi turned 73, he had a grand party in the Palazzo Grazioli which was attended by all of Rome’s finest. This included it’s finest prostitutes. When one such lady claimed she was paid 10,000 Euro to spend the night with Berlusconi, everyone suddenly started to pay attention and wonder if their Prime Minister was actually paying for sex and, you know, committing a crime and all that. Now Berlusconi loves to brag about the ladies who bang him for jewelry, he talks about those bitches all the time, but he was a bit peeved when people started talking about ones who go there for straight cash. While Berlusconi’s instinct is to just make the people stop taking, it seems a wise handler has finally put on his...
Read MoreHookers Might Be his Problem
Silvio Berlusconi has been prime minister of Italy since 2001… 2001. Is it just me, or was that a lifetime ago? Yes, it was the 9/11 year, but 2001 was also the year Ariel Sharon was voted in as Israeli Prime Minister, it was the year Wikipedia was founded and the year that launched both the Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings film franchises. Do you remember how old you were when you saw The Fellowship of the Ring?? Who were your friends? What did your hair look like? That is how long Berlusconi has been the PM of Italy. He’s managed to hold onto power for most of that period despite serious discomfort about his leadership in international public opinion. He’s had every accusation thrown in his face from being a...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.