How Is He Not Dead Yet?
In the last three weeks, the once-ailing Fidel Castro has made eight public appearances. For the last four years Castro’s colon has been has been so inflamed that intestinal fluid was dripping into his abdomen. Yet recently, he has managed, on eight different occasions, to pull on his hipster pajamas and spew on about the nuclear holocaust like it’s 1960 and the Cuban revolution hasn’t been reduced to a sticker on the bottom of every slack-jawed fourteen year-old’s skateboard. Castro supposedly suffers from Diverticulitis, an illness which is fatal to 90% of elderly patients. That he has managed to fall into the surviving 10% is some pretty clear proof that evolution favours nasty shit. Castro’s bounce back...
Read MoreSarah Palin and Glenn Beck are Hosting a Rally on Sept. 11th and I’m Scared
If you have not yet read the Michael Joseph Gross article in Vanity Fair, you really must. It’s eight pages long and claims to be investigative journalism, I know. The investigation, however, seems to be made up largely of disjointedness snippets from vague conversations and besides, it’s all about Sarah Palin. I know people who don’t have the attention span to make it through twenty-two minutes of South Park who can read 8 pages about Sarah Palin. I get it, she’s an easy obsession. She’s easy to get caught up in and hard to quit. You feel euphoric with news of her stupidity, and anxious at news of her success. There are feelings of irritability, sometimes aggression but at the same time we feel an...
Read MoreReading is Hard, Let Us Watch YouTube
A few YouTube summer political classics for your consumption. They were supposed to embed themselves into my post like a grown-up blog but… we’re not there yet. First, a subtle artistic rendition of a nuanced debate. Big ups to Liam for the link. of \"We\'ve Got to Stop the Mosque at Ground Zero\" Finally, a viral hit from the 2010 primaries. This video was been around for ages and I didn’t write about it before because I figured everyone had seen it on Colbert or some other show. Then I remembered, the Polonoscopy audience is heavily made up with a) foreigners b) people without televisions and c) people who don’t follow politics and just expect me to show them the (*cough*) important bits....
Read MoreSquishy Mao
It’s difficult to find a story about Chinese politics that doesn’t make me angry. It try really hard to post about the Chinese, I read all kind of stories, but after the initial black out I always come to to find my modem covered in bite marks and my fists full of my own hair. So yessss… pretty dangerous. I actually liked this story though, because it helps me to believe that China is once again ruled by an evil royal dynasty. Knowing what I do about the Chinese Communist Party, I can’t help but feel nostalgic for the relatively benign rule of the Qing Empress Dowager Cixi and her jade barge full of severed penises. Instead we have tubby Mao Xinyu, Mao Zedong ‘s only living grandson. He is 40 years old, he...
Read MoreThe Political Holiday Photo Album
I’ve been writing about political holidays a lot recently and there is a reason for that. It’s pretty much all anyone is doing these days. So let’s not fight it, and go through some of this year’s best political holiday photographs, and some of our old favourites. Just so you know, I tried to format these things so that I could have pictures attached to commentary in a clean, linear fashion, but it just doesn’t want to happen. I don’t know if you know this, but computers hate me, and I get angry all I want, but ultimately take their shit because computers always win and I need them more then they need me. It’s a very unhealthy relationship. Seeing as how my web-designer is currently on holidays...
Read MoreSo This Works, Apparently
How to you rehabilitate the image of your stuffy, intellectual, furrowed, Toronto-born, Oxford-bred party leader into a likable dude with a common touch? Why you put him in a pair of jeans of course!! No seriously, what are we going to do about Micheal Ignatieff’s image? I told you, blue jeans… and some burgers. Beer too, also… baseball cap. Hockey. Tim Hortons. DO IT!! While it may seem like hopping on the a well decorated locomotive to feel the wounds of the people is better suited to reelect R.B. Bennett in the great campaign of 1935 (“I hear you folks have been suffering a depression out here, well I say that’s terrible, just terrible” he would cry from a caboose covered in streamers) it turns out,...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.