Cameron and Skinny Cameron’s Political Marriage on the Rocks
It all began so well. The election was over, Conservative bums would soon be warming seats in Westminster. Cameron had done well, or as well as he could have, under the circumstances. He drank Guinness from cans and knocked up his wife and made hey, so much hey, out of Gordon Brown’s natural toadyness and unfortunate habit of being overheard telling the truth. It was all about David now, but he still had one ass left to kiss. His name was Nick Clegg. That skinnier, less successful David Cameron with the hot wife. He wooed Clegg the same way he tried to woo the rest of Britain. He showed off his down-to-earth side, his family-man side, his modern-twist-on-tradition side. No fancy, tax-deductible restaurant meal for these chaps,...
Read MoreLook Who’s Hopping on the Environment Bandwagon Now
So, I was watching Predator this weekend, lol’ing it up, watching Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura bopping around the jungle and needlessly flexing when I thought “These two guys were both Governers… hilarious.” Then I remembered… shit, Arnold Schwarzenegger is still Governor. I haven’t written about him on my blog. Not once, not ever and..and.. and… we don’t have much time left. This was where I’d like to tell you I ran to my blog dramatically and started searching for hours and hours to find some dirt on Arnie, but… well… I kind of just sat there and kept watching Predator. Until now! Here is a picture I found in the Daily Mail of Arnold stretching after a bike...
Read MoreRed Zone Reflections – Part 2
I feel kind of like a dumbass writing about the G8, now that I’m back in Toronto and every other person I run into wants to show me their home video of some hippie getting hit in the face with a baton, but hey… when I learned I could only cover one conference I picked the G8 for a reason. Up in Muskoka, shit was happening too! There were police… I saw some helicopters…it’s strawberry season… why are you asking me all these questions? I imagine my dilemma is similar to those of police officers who returned from Huntsville to their home stations in Kenora and Moosonee and had to swap stories with the guys who were sent to Toronto. “Oh, yeah, the G8 was great, I rode around the woods on an ATV and...
Read MoreFear and Loathing in Toronto
By David Robson Today I witnessed absurdity firsthand. I was at Bay and King when anarchists set two police cars alight, I was at Yonge Street for the aftermath of the anarchist’s so-called “class war,” and I was in Queen’s park when the police finally corralled protesters, launched their tear gas, and ineffectually tried to restore order to the city. What happened today was not oppression; there was no police brutality, no great affront to human rights. What happened today was not a social movement; there was no meaningful free speech, no meaningful attempt to persuade, enlighten, or inform. What happened today was not necessary; it was absurd. I went out to Queen’s Park, where several thousand protesters had gathered, and...
Read MoreIn Other News, Carla Bruni is Kind of a Bitch
Taking a little break from the G8 to backtrack to Sarkozi’s visit to Number 10 last week. Jan Moir at the Daily Mail, wrote a delightfully bitchy article about Carla Bruni’s behaviour in London, entitled Moi, Moi, Moi (or, how Shameless Carla Monopolized the Camera) which basically takes everything we suspect about Carla Bruni (self-involved, golddigger, attention whore) and matches it up with some pretty priceless pictures. You’ll see Carla Bruni does everything in her power to act like the only girl with boobs at a middle school dance. Not only does she like to be the centre of attention, she makes it very clear that the attention should be centred around her sex appeal in particular. Hence, ass shots, hair flicking, lip licking...
Read MoreRed Zone Reflections
Since the G20/G8 preparations have started to get underway in Toronto and Huntsville, I’ve heard a lot of fat guys with neck beards, presumably from some kind of “independent” or “alternative” press, tell me that my rights will properly shat-upon as soon as the the Summits have arrived. Well, here I am, in my family cottage which is helpfully located right in the middle of the G8 Red Zone on Peninsula Lake. At the other end of this lake is Deerhurst, where Stephan Harper will officially open the 37th annual G8 conference in about twenty minutes. While I won’t say I haven’t been mildly inconvenienced here and there, the whole ordeal has been tame and well… rather cute. It’s been a...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.