Grumble Grumble Grumble DEBATES
What is the hallmark of any democratic election process? ….. Casual slacks. After that, I’d probably say either wearing a hard hat to make a point about industry, or allowing some strange kid to wipe his nose on your sweater during a press conference. After that there is pretending to like immigrants in the city, while reminding people in the country that they are the only Real Canadians, then you’ve got Jr. hockey, then you need your barely literate attack ads and well… somewhere down the road you’re also going to have to have a debate. I know, it’s a bummer, but the people seem to expect it. You are, however, allowed to whine about it. No debate should ever just happen, the candidates should bitch...
Read MoreStephen Harper Wins…
…at throwing a hilariously stereotypical campaign. You know, the kind that features an awkward man overcompensating at being normal. Honestly, I thought it was going to be Ignatieff. After last summer’s handshakes and brewskies tour of Canada featuring ”call me Michael” holding cheap beer in a meticulously pressed plaid shirt, I thought he had it in the bag. But alas, Stephen Harper had to ride in on an ATV, the chosen stead of neo-cons, this years’s Sea Doo. Look at him. Isn’t he dashing? How long do you think he spent grappling with the helmet issue? “Now listen up staffers, I want to look family friendly- but also- bad ass. I specifically told photographers to shoot me from the eyes...
Read MoreBook Review: Best Laid Plans
In honour of our newly fallen government, it is time to review a book on Canadian politics. So I present to you: Best Laid Plans by Terry Fallis. This book is hot right now, and by hot I mean Canadian hot, so there’s a good chance you’ve never heard of it. The story behind the book is actually pretty cool. The author, Terry Fallis, couldn’t get his book published. He still thought the book was awesome, so figured he’d screw the publishing companies, and he recorded each chapter as a pod cast. When he got a good responce, he published it himself. A few years later it picked up an award and won the CBC’s annual Canada Reads contest. Now it has a sequel. Good for Terry Fallis, right? Good for him to...
Read MoreThe Tyrant Wears Louboutins
Well, I have not been keeping up with the blog enough recently. I have, I’ll admit, been cheating with some other projects, but there is no excuse for leaving my dear readers without the ability to chortle at people much more powerful than them. I was beginning to miss the sound of my own wit. Is is whimsical or is it saucy? I don’t even know anymore! Lordy, where to start? Things certainly have been bustling along lately! Apparently the Libyans didn’t read my “Feel Good Revolution” post. Or maybe they did, I just forgot to add the part about making sure your tyrant isn’t so morally repugnant that he hires foreign mercenaries to murder his own people. That was a serious oversight,...
Read MoreWhy is Samantha Cameron a Thing?
Some people say that the world in 2011 is a cynical place. I’ll admit, people like to talk things like pollution and debt and all the funny places dangerous carcinogens might be hiding (don’t touch the lip balm!!) but overall, I really don’t think people are nearly as cynical as they should be. Recently, I’ve been on the Daily Mail website a lot (because… ya know… I’m a serious journalist) and I’ve been seeing four words clumped together in a combination of very awkward, somewhat alarming ways. “Samantha Cameron: Fashion Icon” . At first the title was pronounced with some trepidation. During and after the election, when she was in full bloom with PR baby, the headlines were...
Read MoreSilvio’s Valentine
How did thousands of Italian women pleasure themselves this Valentine’s day? They went out to protest Silvio Burlisconi making a mockery of women! They said no more orgies! They railed aginst the underage prostitues! They decried the Bunga Bunga! As they should, right? Of course. I think there are very few people who would say that what these women ask is unreasonable, but one of those people will always be Silvio Burlisconi. While publicly the Italian Prime Minister has said that the protests are “disgusting” I would bet anyone 100 sweaty Euros that privately he’s used more colourful langauge. I bet he’s been saying that these women are a bunch of hairy lesbians, all in need of a good dicking, because...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.