Democracy or Bust: Rules For a Feel-Good Revolution
Congratulations Egypt. In all seriousness, I’m happy to see that Mumbarak bitch go. You should all take note, I hated him before it was cool. Proof. But this isn’t about me, and me being a wise sage, or my beautiful flaxen locks, this is about…. other people? Over the last two weeks, Egypt has not only unseated a tyrant and got on thier way to a hastily essembled democracy, but they have schooled the world on how to run a successful and entertaining revolution. Not every uprising works. I’ve looked at the last fifty-odd years of revolution, and you’d be surprised how many either ended in terrible bloodshed or lasted so long that people just kind of got bored and wandered off. So to all of you potential...
Read MoreBeelzebub
What do Vladimir Putin, Hugo Chavez and former Liberian President Charles Taylor all have in common? Besides being conceived in hellfire and born of pure evil, of course? One woman. Noami Campbell, you see, is a modern day Beelzebub. A devil’s familiar, if you will. She is a fly on a dungheap. A worm in a carcass. She sucks the very teet of evil, and it brings her strength. Twice now she has flaunted her sadistic ways to British GQ. First with Hugo Chavez, when Naomi first put on her journalist’s cap (double brim, Sherlock Holmes style, with strands of weave falling attractively below) in 2008. She took one sniff of him, and then she began to feed. First she asked Chavez if he would ever go topless, like Putin....
Read MoreAAHHHHH PUPPIES!!!!!
So nothing has happened in politics recently (well, obviously something happened, but I mean nothing good). Parliaments and Congresses and Diets around the world are still on their extended holidays and everyone is trying to make a virtue of sitting in Tim Hortons (or Dunkin’ Donuts, or Costa Coffee or whatever brand of weak, barely roasted, over-caffeinated sludge your nation proudly embraces as a unique part or their culture) chatting with the locals. I use the word “chatting” lightly, in a way that really means, blowing smoke up your own ass while the next guy tries to get a word in edgewise and then patting yourself on the back for the meaningful connection you just made. Jack Layton knows what I’m talking...
Read MoreBest of 2010: Chantel Biya (and Runner Ups)
You know what I got sick of in 2010? People calling political wives “style icons”. Carla Bruni, Michelle Obama, Samantha Cameron (?!?!?!!), they were all fawned over by their respective national presses for thier “effortless chic”. It’s effortless because they have all hired someone to dress them! These three women obviously have many style advisors and personal shoppers on their payroll, and that’s fine, but if I want to call someone a “style icon” I want them to at least dress themselves. You know who looks like she dresses herself? The First Lady of Cameroon, her beautiousness, Mme. Chantel Biya. Look at her. Say what you want, but that shit didn’t come off the rack at J-Crew,...
Read MoreBest of 2010: Angela Merkel Tortures the Greeks
If you’re looking for the bright side of a global economic meltdown, look at Angela Merkel. She is truly the most entertaining part of the world going to hell. She is stiff and grumpy, yet she’s German and has a bowl cut. She is also a classic bean-counter and treats all matters of State with a Vulcan slavishness to logic. She makes me think of a rather unconventional James Bond character, so unconventional that he never made it into the movies. Curious? Oh of course I’ll explain. In Ian Flemming’s 1962 novel The Spy Who Loved Me, there is a German character named Kurt Rainer. After asking a woman to marry him, Kurt makes a careful study of anatomy in anticipation of his wedding night. As his fiancée lives in...
Read MoreBest of 2010: Sarah Palin Stripper Contest
Crap. It’s the 31st and I’ve not completed my very short list of things to do for this website. The first thing was my top ten list of the best of 2010; I’ve completed two things off that list. I was also supposed to get to 100 posts. This is 98, and frankly, I’m losing steam. I’ve been really busy ok?? No I haven’t left my parents house for the last week, but I’ve still been busy. I’ll have you know…. there is a puppy involved. I’ve been trying to make a lot of new content about my top ten, writing some fresh things about my favourites from the year, despite any top ten list being a thinly veiled excuse to direct readers to content that has already been written even though...
Read MoreAbout the Site
Polonoscopy is a site devoted to political fluff. While I do appreciate that there are important issues out there… with respect… eh… don’t really care. Not here anyway, not now, that is not what Polonoscopy is about. Fluff. It’s all about image and perception in politics. Rather than vote for someone based on a record of public service and commitment to the meaningful issues of the day, wouldn’t you rather vote for someone who’s personality seems similar if only slightly more impressive then your own? Of course, we all would.